someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She's the barista slut.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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