I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Pants are for mortals
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
