There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
