were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
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i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
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After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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