Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
