I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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