I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Randomize
