He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
