Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
