Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
that's an acceptable place to lick
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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