What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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