Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
