A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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