I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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