Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
