Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize