He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
