you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
