He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
