I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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