Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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