There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
cat food counts as protein by the way
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
