guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
and she was petting her beer can
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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