His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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