I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
