so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
