Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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