If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
