exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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