I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
