Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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