If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
