people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
