Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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