I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Randomize
