At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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