im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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