At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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