we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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