i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
