i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
