You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
