all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
