I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
