I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Hippo gnu deer
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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