I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
