Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
