I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
pray to the hookup gods
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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