I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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