we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Are my feet made of real feet?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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