It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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