I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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