Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
