I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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