Christians are straight up FREAKS
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
