Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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