It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
