Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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