i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
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why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
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I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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