She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
