Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
