lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
